


Forever

by DatHeetJoella



Category: Free!
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health problems, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 10:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7798792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DatHeetJoella/pseuds/DatHeetJoella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Makoto."<br/>"Hmm?"<br/>"You'll never leave me, right?"<br/>"Never."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from and I have no explanation. I got the idea last night and I just had to write it.
> 
> Either way, I hope you will be able to enjoy it.

A soft smile stretched Haruka's lips as he poured the batter he made into the pan. He had gotten up even earlier than he usually did so that he could prepare a delicious breakfast for Makoto. It wasn't like it was for a special occasion nor was this an important day, he had just woken up with the feeling of wanting to spoil his fiancé a little. So, he had disentangled himself from Makoto's embrace, and dressed in only a pair of boxer shorts and Makoto's orange and yellow shirt he had gone to the kitchen to tie on his apron and begun to mix the batter from scratch, hoping that breakfast would be done before he woke up.

These past few months Makoto had taken more hours at his job so that they could start saving up for their wedding. They hadn't picked a date yet, but weddings were expensive so it wouldn't be bad if they already began saving now. Since Makoto was always jokingly complaining about the usual mackerel breakfast he was served, Haruka decided to reward him for his hard work by making his favourite for once: chocolate-chipped pancakes. They both had a rare day off and they were obviously going to spend it together, and Haruka wanted Makoto to enjoy it to the fullest.

After he flipped the pancake over he reached for one of the cupboards to take a large plate out of it and his eye fell for the millionth time on the silver band that was wrapped around his ring finger. The moment Makoto proposed to him was engraved into his memory, branded so deep within his soul that he couldn't even forget it if he tried. Not that he wanted to. Recalling it brought a surge of warmth to his heart, made his chest burn with love for his Makoto, made butterflies roam in his stomach and a large smile lit up his face every single time.

One day Makoto had asked him out to the aquarium and of course Haruka had agreed, not expecting his boyfriend and lifetime best friend to have an ulterior motive. It wasn't uncommon for Makoto to have an impromptu or spontaneous idea to take Haruka out so there was no reason for him to seek anything behind it either. Besides that, he always expected Makoto to be a nervous wreck on the day he would ask him to marry him, but he hadn't behaved any differently than he usually would have, still had his sunny demeanour and default smile, so that only influenced his reasoning that this was just like any other, normal date. They had toured the aquarium and Haruka noticed that there weren't many people around; knowing that he wasn't fond of crowds, Makoto had purposefully picked a day the aquarium was calmer, or so he figured. With every exhibit they visited there were seemingly fewer and fewer people around until they arrived at the dolphin section and were the only two people there. Haruka hadn't thought much of it and was admiring the dolphins as they gracefully swum through the water, a tiny part of him wishing he could join them and swim beside them. All of the thoughts were blown from his mind when he looked at his left and instead of seeing Makoto standing beside him marvelling at the mammals like he was, he saw Makoto sitting on one knee, a small velvety box in his large hands. Before Makoto could as much as utter the beginning of the speech he had written let alone pop the question, Haruka had jumped into Makoto's arms with his own wrapped around Makoto's neck, effectively knocking the both of them down so they were lying on the floor. He had pressed a long, hard kiss against Makoto's lips, not caring about their surroundings for the sudden rush of unexpected emotion invaded his mind and erased every trace of common sense that once resided in his head. When he pulled back there were tears brimming in his eyes, silently insisting that Makoto continued where he had left off before the sudden interruption. Makoto had laughed that beautiful laugh of his and did as he had been instructed.

Haruka was pulled out of his reverie by strong arms wrapping around his waist.

"Good morning," Makoto whispered in his ear, his minty breath tickling his skin as he placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Oh, no mackerel today?"

"'Morning. No, I thought something else would be nice for once," Haruka replied, leaning back against Makoto's broad chest. That was a poor lie and Makoto knew it too, because Haruka would never choose anything above mackerel, especially not chocolate-chipped pancakes, but Makoto had the decency not to mention it and to just appreciate his lover's thoughtfulness.  
  
"Thank you, Haru-chan!" he exclaimed, smiling brigthly before placing a second tender kiss to his cheek as an expression of his gratitude.

"Lay off the '-chan', otherwise no pancakes for you," Haruka deadpanned as he flipped the last pancake on the stack. Luckily Haruka was good at multitasking so none of the pancakes had burned because of his reminiscence.  
  
"Sorry," Makoto chuckled, not sounding apologetic in the slightest.

Still, for once Haruka decided to be kind on his fiancé. He broke himself free of Makoto's hold to place the plate of pancakes on middle of the table and then he intended to further set it. "Sit down," he told Makoto as he began to grab smaller plates from the cabinet.

Instead of doing as he had been told, Makoto took the plates from Haruka's hand. "It's okay, you can sit down and I'll set the table." As Haruka opened his mouth to protest Makoto silenced him with a kiss. "You already made breakfast, let me."

With Makoto's persuasiveness and convincing eyes, Haruka could truly never win or resist him. But before he admitted defeat, he pried the plates out of Makoto's hands and put them down on the counter, wrapping his arms around Makoto's neck to pull him down into another kiss. To this Makoto gladly obliged and he snaked his arms around Haruka's waist again and held him tightly as his mouth worked against his, conveying his feelings of happiness and love through his lips sliding over Haruka's.  
  
Once their kiss ended Haruka removed his arms from Makoto's neck and placed them around his midriff instead, nuzzling his head in Makoto's chest, feeling safe and home in Makoto's warm embrace. The rhythmic thrumming of Makoto's heart beneath his ear and his comforting scent surrounding him only strengthened those feelings of belonging. A gentle kiss was pressed against his hair and Makoto spoke softly, as if he were afraid to break this serenity.  
  
"Shall we go eat? The pancakes are getting cold."  
  
Withdrawing himself, Haruka stared into Makoto's shining, forest green eyes and nodded. Sometimes he just needed moments like this, to be completely enveloped in Makoto as a reminder that he was here. Makoto was his rock, the one constant in his life, his love and support and he truly wouldn't know what to do without him. On one particularly emotional night he had admitted his fear of abandonment to him and Makoto had taken him into his arms, comforting and soothing him whilst he assured Haruka that he wouldn't leave him for the world. He had promised Haruka that he wouldn't leave him until Haruka told him to. It wasn't like Haruka didn't trust or believe him, but he couldn't help the bit of anxiety that lingered. Like with everything else, Makoto knew this, and made sure he frequently reminded Haruka of his promise.  
  
When the table was set they both said a brief thanks before they dug in, sitting across each other with their legs intertwined underneath the table. Makoto took large bites and practically emitted joy as he chewed, giving Haruka a content and satisfied feeling, pleased that Makoto enjoyed the treat Haruka had made especially for him. His euphoria was not only visibly expressed; he complimented Haruka's cooking skills greatly as he repeated how delicious the pancakes were. Haruka revelled silently in Makoto's praise, taking smaller bites than his lover did. Admittedly, the pancakes did taste very good, despite him not having a sweet tooth nor a specific love for chocolate. Sappy as it was, Haruka liked to believe that the love and effort he had poured into perfecting these pancakes for the love of his life was what gave them such flavour.  
  
After the last bite was swallowed and all the food Haruka had prepared was gone, Makoto waved him over, a vague invitation yet Haruka knew what he meant with it. He took the offer like he always did and got up, walking over to Makoto's side of the table before seating himself in his fiancé's lap. Immediately Makoto wound his arms around the small of Haruka's back.  
  
"Thanks for the meal," Makoto said earnestly, smiling brightly at his love.  
  
In return Haruka's arms found their spot around Makoto's neck once more, leaning forward to press a sweet peck against his lips. Those lips were another reminder of Makoto's love for him, the assurance that their feelings were mutual and that out of everyone in the entire world, Makoto picked him, Makoto fell in love with him. That was why he often stole a quick kiss, savoured his taste and his touch to keep his mind from wandering or going down the rabbit hole of pessimism and negativity. He wasn't alone and he would never be, because Makoto vowed to remain by his side for the rest of eternity. Their love was so profound and pure that nothing would ever be able to break it. They were soul mates and they would be together. Forever.  
  
Makoto's fingers made their way up the back of his shirt as they pulled away, tracing random patterns on Haruka's skin with his blunt fingernails, the loving gesture giving him goosebumps.  
  
"So, what do you want to do today?"  
  
"I don't know. I thought we could just stay inside today," Haruka shrugged.  
  
"You don't want to go swimming?"  
  
He shook his head. "No, I want to stay here, with you." And cuddle, he thought, but he knew that he didn't need to say it for Makoto to understand. He could always go swimming, spending an entire day cuddling with the man he loved above anything else was far more rare and honestly, far more appealing.  
  
"All right, then we'll stay here," Makoto beamed, closing his eyes and tilting his head.  
  
A gentle smile appeared on Haruka's face as he leaned forward to place his chin on his fiancé's shoulder and locked his ankles around his back, hugging him closer against himself and feeling content to just sit here. Makoto began to hum a soft tune as he gently rubbed Haruka's back and the outside of his legs, both basking in each other's presence and warmth.  
  
After a little while Haruka pulled back to rest his forehead against Makoto's, staring deeply into Makoto's eyes.  
  
"Makoto."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You'll never leave me, right?"  
  
"Never," Makoto echoed, lifting his hand from Haruka's thigh to his cheek, cupping it and stroking it with his thumb. "I love you, Haru, and nothing will ever change that."  
  
The smile that had faded from Haruka's features came back, ten times as bright as before as he leaned into Makoto's touch.  
  
"I love you so much, Haru-chan."  
  
"Hmm, I love you too, Makoto."  
  
Their lips met once again as if to seal their promise; their promise to be together forever.

* * *

 

A sigh left Mariko's lips as she made her way down the empty corridor, a tray of food in her hands. It was her turn to go bring lunch to the man who had been dubbed by her colleagues as the most insane patient in the entire ward. Though she dreaded going to him just as much as her coworkers did, the reason for her dread differed from her coworkers'. It wasn't like this patient was dangerous or violent, quite the opposite. Most of her colleagues were creeped out by him, some even laughed about him, but Mariko, she only felt pity. Seeing the state the man was in saddened her to her very core. She always prided herself in her ability to keep work and private affairs separated, but this patient was the sole exception. Whenever she had to bring him a meal, she felt bad for the rest of the day, like his misery rubbed off on her. She just felt so incredibly sorry for him and it sickened her to know that there were people who considered him to be a laughingstock.  
  
She stopped in front of the patient's door, knocking twice to announce her presence. As always, there was no response and she opened the door to let herself in, walking into the room.  
  
Most of the patients had personalised their room, decorated it with items or added colour to brighten it up, yet this room was empty and white, still the same as it had been before the man was admitted. The only pieces of furniture that were standing in the room were a single bed and a table with a chair.  
  
There on the bed lay the man, or rather, the remnants of what used to be a man, curled up into a fetal position, wearing nothing but a worn out, oversized yellow and orange t-shirt and pair of boxer shorts, just like he always was.  
  
Five years ago the man's lover had passed away in a car accident. At the time the man was at their home, waiting for his boyfriend to return, only he never did. Unable to accept the death of his best friend and partner, the man completely lost his mind.  
  
Mariko could not imagine loving someone so much that their loss was enough to reduce your sanity to practically non-existent, that their passing was enough to kill you emotionally. Now bound to a fate worse than death, for he was not even sane enough to take his own life, he was left with the idea that his lover was still alive and continued with the life they once lead, except only in delusions in his head.  
  
"Nanase-san, it's time for lunch. I brought mackerel, that's your favourite, right?" she spoke gently.  
  
The man didn't respond to her. He never did.  
  
She put the tray down on the small table and peered at the man. His black, greasy hair was plastered to his forehead, his body completely emaciated as he clutched something tightly against his chest, his eyes dull and dead as they stared into nothingness, and a large smile was present on his face as he quietly mumbled to himself.  
  
"I don't know. I thought we could just stay inside today."  
  
It was like he was worse off every single day, as if the tiny pieces of his mind that weren't deceased yet were slowly decaying with every passing second and every fleeting thought.  
  
His family and friends stopped visiting him a long time ago. It hurt them too much to see him like this and he didn't notice their presence either way, never responded to their desperate attempts of calling out to him. He wasn't able to register the world around him anymore. All he ever did was softly murmur as if he were talking to his lost lover.  
  
"No, I want to stay here, with you."  
  
The only way anyone could ever get a reaction out of him was by taking away one of his few possessions. One of them was the old, oversized shirt he was wearing. Rumor has it that back when he was first admitted the nurses tried to get him to wear a gown of the institution, and he went completely hysterical and wouldn't calm down until he was back into the shirt. They say that the shirt belonged to his lover, whether or not this was true Mariko didn't know, but she didn't have a hard time believing it.  
  
"Makoto."  
  
His only other possession was what he was clutching against his chest. Mariko didn't need to see it to know what it was: a picture of his lover. And it wasn't even framed. She didn't know what he looked like since she was never able to take a peek at it, but she imagined that he must have been a great person if his death was enough to mentally destroy his partner. Nanase-san was never seen without the picture, always holding it tightly to himself as if he was hugging his lover instead of some flimsy photograph.  
  
"You'll never leave me, right?"  
  
Sometimes Mariko wondered if deep down, he knew that his lover was dead. She didn't come to his room very often, but whenever she was able to catch a glimpse of the conversation the delusional man was having with his deceased lover in his imagination, there was always a mention, brief as it may be, of him asking for the reassurance that his lover would always be there. The person Nanase-san was in his head obviously had abandonment issues, and to her, that clearly stemmed from reality. So it made her doubt whether he genuinely could not fathom the idea that his lover had died, or if he consciously chose to block it from his mind. Unfortunately, she would never know the truth, as he was too far gone. Wildly and vividly hallucinating was all he ever did, all he was able to do.  
  
She often contemplated if there was something they could do for him, as he would be better off with the mercy of death so he could join his lover rather than lying here in suffering, but alas he was forced to spend the rest of his life in this limbo-like state of misery. Cruel it may seem, she wished that death would be kind on him and would come to take him soon, for he would have been far happier in eternal slumber than he was now with how he was rotting away here. He had practically been dead since the day his lover left the earth, at least mentally, so for him to be bound to the physical world while he longed for nothing but to be reunited with his lover in heaven was truly unfair.  
  
Another sigh left her lips as she tore her eyes away, her heart heavy as she walked towards the door. Something inside of her told her that it wouldn't be long before her wish came true.  
  
"Hmm, I love you too, Makoto."  
  
She exited the room and left behind he who was once a beautiful man, yet now nothing more than an empty shell.

**Author's Note:**

> I regret everything. I promise that in the future, I'll write something to make up for this.
> 
> I got the idea for this fic while I was listening to Evanescence's "Even in Death" so you can probably see where it went downhill.  
> A lot of people seemed to misinterpret a part of this fic, so I'll explain it in case you missed it too. The first scene never happened in real life. The first scene is what went through Haru's head in the second scene. The proposal, Makoto's promise, none of it happened in real life, it was all Haru's hallucinations. Listening to aforementioned song might explain what I meant a little.
> 
> If you want to be informed of when I have more (horrible) fic ideas or if you want to talk to me about MakoHaru, you can follow me on Tumblr at datheetjoella.tumblr.com or on Twitter @DatHeetJoella
> 
> Either way, I hope you were able to somewhat enjoy this fic, thank you for reading it! :)
> 
> I hope you'll have a wonderful day and I hope to see you next time! ^^


End file.
